when to stop..

it is said that we have to listen to out hearts because our hearts always know what is right. but what about out heads? i know for a fact that our head gets in the way of what our heart wants because our head is always thinking logically and our heat doesnt care it is only thinking about what it truly desires. but how do we know when to ignore our hearts and listen to our heads, or the other way around.
in my recent experiences i have found that i have better luck in listening to my heart and never listening to my head because as a girl i over think and over analyse absolutley everything. but that isnt good at all which is why my head gets into the way and which is why i have to listen to what my heart knows is the right thing

Comptemplating

as my heart fills up my feeling slowly start to pour out over the stop and spill out leaving my stranded here helpless and numb.

you know those times when you are feeling way to much to know what you are actually feeling, well that is how i am right now, and i don't know what to do about it because i cant figure out if it is a good thing or a bad t
i shouldnt have to tell you what to do it should just be natural to you. you should do wht you feel like you have to do. just know that it is the little things that matter the most in life...

just ranting

their comes a point in every ones life where they have to come and accept things for what they are. well i have a problem where i over analyze and over think everything and then i get so over emotional. and you could say it is just because i am a woman or just because i am trying to get my way, i have heard it all.. but i just get to this point sometimes where i just start to cry over all of the little things like i will think about something about the past and i will ball my eyes out, and if someone doesn't notice that i am upset i will cry because of that. and i swear the i am not on my period or PMS-ing lol or even pregnant. it just feels good to cry sometimes.. but i really wish that some people would notice that their is something wrong and ask me what is wrong. it makes me mad when the person who is supposed to know you the best in the world doesn't notice because aren't they the ones who should notice... and you ask them all the time when they look down if everything is ok but they don't ask when something is evidently wrong. sometimes i just don't feel like i am cared about by this person... they say the right things but sometimes they don't act like they care i need someone who will show me how they feel about me and who reassures me about my fears and concerns someone who will sit their and talk to me about my dreams and who will ask questions so that i know that they care about me just like i care about them. and i would like to come to the conclusion that things aren't going to work out in this area of my life but i cant help but hold on with every bit of my heart because i know that things will get better in time, they always do. but in the mean time i am so impatient i want this NOW! i hate waiting even if it is the only option...

a lesson learned

in life you learn to love, and sometimes it is to the point of no oblivion. and well i think that i have surpassed that. ever since i can remember i have loved this boy to the point where it hurts. and that was minus all of the pain i was in because of everything else that was going on, and trust me their was so much pain. but i am not sitting here and being away from my man is so painful but so joyful because at last i can call him mine. after all of this time i can say that he in mine and i know that when he looks at me with his beautiful green eyes that he is mine for eternity. and all of the pain and suffering that i went through is all made up just by being able to see him laugh. what i dont think that he understands is that just by having experienced all of that pain by not being with him and seeing him with other girls and hearing him talk about other girls makes just seeing him smile enough to make up for all of it. to see him happy is what makes my world. i think that i have come to the point where i love him past all of the pain, so it doesn't hurt anymore it is way more then that. and i know that he loves me that much to. because he knows that i will never leave him or turn my back on him, and he would never make me. but i don't think that he gets that he doesn't have to buy me anything or take me out because i am just so grateful to have him with me and by my side. but he does anyway which makes him absolutely amazing.. i seriously couldn't have asked for anyone better, he surpasses perfect in every way shape and form and i hope that you all experience that l=kind of love that will overcome everything and you will wake up every morning to the face of beauty with joyfulness that you wont even be able to fathom just because they chose to wake up to you and make you the luckiest person in the entire world..... i hope you get from someone what he gave to me....

its been a while.

it has been so long since i have posted on here and my life has changed so much within the past year.
i have finished my junior year in high school
i have survived a deep deep depression
i have conquered addictions
i have faced many fears
i have gotten over things of the past and moved on
i have lost someone very dear to me
and i have started dating the person who i would be proud to call my best friend :)

what many people don't understand is that the time we have is precious and we have to value it because time goes by so quickly. time is a precious thing and we never know what what is going to happen that might take that time away. many people take for granted the time that we do have on this earth and are just lazy and don't care what is going on, i am not perfect and i am also guilty of such behavior. but i have just been learning recently that we have to take advantage of the time that we have here because we really never know what is going to happen, we could die and in a split second everything changes.

we have to dance like no one is watching
sing like their is no tomorrow
not fear the things that have no importance to us
take chances and risks
love like we have never been hurt
and live life to the fullest

it has been said and said again but if i have learned anything over the last year it is that we must most of all love like we have never been hurt, because we don't know when the people you love are going to leave. weather or not they walk out or they pass away. you cant doing anything in life without us, it is the strongest emotion in the our human bodies. everything that we do is out of love, even if you hate someone. hate is a emotion of passion and you must have loved them at one point to have hated them now. life would mean nothing without love, their is no point to life is we have no love. the simple reason that we are on this earth is to love. to love the people around us and to love this things around us. we all have that special someone weather they are a best friend a family member or a spouse (significant other) who we would be nothing without.

i have fallen in love with someone, and had them just walk out on me with no second thoughts and i know more then anyone that it hurts like a bitch but i also know that the time that the time that i spent with that person in a way made up for the pain because i got to fall in love and have them in my life for the time period. and now time has moved on and they came back and we are together for real this time and things are better then ever but if i didn't take that chance and accept them back into my life then wouldn't have have come out of depression and i wouldn't have been as happy now as i am because he makes me happier than humanly possible.

my point is, is that we have to take advantage of the time that we have with our loved ones because we don't know what is going to happen, and at the same time we have to live life to the fullest without any fears because it is our fears that gets in our way of taking risks and living a fulfilled life with the memories that we have.

time is valuable and precious and take advantage of the time that you do have and use it wisely because we only have one life to live so we must make the most of it....